Chapter 1



I’m crazy, I know I am.
All of the psychiatrists that I’ve been to say so. Whenever I’ve finished with one of them they take my parents into another room or a corner and whisper to them. But I can always hear what they are saying. They tell my parents that I’m having weird hallucinations and they should put me in an insane asylum. Ha, maybe I should be in one.
You are probably wondering what the hell I am talking about. Here, I will show you a script from one of my ppsychiatrist visits:

Session #1 5/21/07

Psychiatrist Dr. Ruckle: Your name is Sophiax McHill, correct?
Me: I go by Sophia.
Dr.Ruckle: -nods- Why are you here today Sophie?
Me: It’s Sophia.
Dr. Ruckle: Right. Please answer my question.
Me: -shrugs-
Dr.Ruckle: You don’t know?
-silence-
Dr. Ruckle: It says here that you see things that most people don’t…? Scary things?
Me: They aren’t always scary…
Dr. Ruckle: What do you see? And where?
Me: Another world, in mirrors.
Dr. Ruckle: Hmm, really?
-pause-
Me: What? You think I’m lying?
Dr. Ruckle: No. Who do you see in these mirrors?
Me: People. Places. Animals.
Dr. Ruckle: Do you see anyone you know?
-silence-
Any friends? Relatives? Old pets?
-silence-
Me: I don’t know.
Dr. Ruckle: I can’t help you if you don’t tell me anything miss. Have you seen anyone you know?
Me: I don’t want to talk anymore.
Dr. Ruckle: Are you sure? I can help.
Me: Yes, I’m sure. And no, you can’t help me. I don’t need you help. –looks away-
Dr. Ruckle: Oh, alright. I’ll talk with your parents to schedule another session okay? –gets up and leads me to the door- Goodbye honey!
-silence-
I don’t blame you if you think there’s something wrong with me. I see things, people mainly, that other people don’t. They aren’t dead, usually.
My parents have taken me to see so many doctors it’s not even funny. But none of them knows what exactly is wrong with me. I don’t even know it myself.


                                           *                  *                      *

“Freak!”
“Weirdo!”
“Loser!”
“Witch!”

The joys of school.
I refused to meet my classmates’ eyes as I slinked into my classroom. Quickly I sat in my seat, feeling their stares boring into the back of my head. My hands clenched into fists and I sat rigid in my seat. Surely they would eventually get tired of making fun of me, right?
I knew it was a vain hope.
“Psst, Sophia!” My heart started beating faster. It was rare for anyone to actually call me by my first name. Confused I turned my head to the right, cautiously searching for the person who called my name. My eyes instantly narrowed when I realized it was Casey, one of the most popular girls in school. And she was smiling at me.
“What?” I almost growled, frowning.
Giggling she shifted her perfect wavy blonde hair off her shoulder and smiled at me. “Did you take you meds today? Freak? We wouldn’t want you infecting our entire school, would we girls?” She turned to glance at her followers, sitting behind her. They all started giggling then, all of them having high pitched, and very annoying, laughs. The kind that make you want to strangle them, just so they shut up.
A smirk was upon Casey’s face when she turned to look at me again. “So did you?” She asked, her blue eyes cold with hate.
“No, I must have forgot. My bad. Maybe I will rub off on you.” To demonstrate my point I spit into a tissue and threw it at her. It hit her smack dab in the forehead. A shrill scream filled the room as she jumped up from her chair.
“EWWWWW!!!! It’s…slobber touched me! You BITCH!” She pushed herself forward, heading right towards me. It took only a moment for her hands to be around my neck, trying to force off my breathing.
I pushed against her hard, trying to wiggle out her grasp. My head was spinning from the lack of oxygen. There were so many things I wanted to scream at her, but I couldn’t seem to be able to find my voice.
“Casey! You sit down right NOW!” Ms. Kelly had just walked into the room, to hear the last part of her hysteria and see her attempting to strangle me. She stood still in the doorway for a moment before rushing to my aid. She grabbed Casey around the waste and somehow yanked her off of me. Ms. Kelly was not the kind of person you could exactly fight against.
Casey was fuming, her face an odd shade of red. If I was not struggling to breathe, I would have found the moment quite funny. Suddenly her face went deathly pale as she realized that the entire class had just seen her little “episode”. Maybe I wouldn’t be the only one considered a freak now. However, Ms. Kelly soon interrupted my thoughts.
“Better yet young lady, you can go have a little chitchat with the principle. C’mon.” She shoved Casey through the doorway, leading her to the principle’s office on the opposite side of the school.
The remainder of the class was still silent. One of Casey’s followers pretended to faint. (At least I think she was pretending; I may never me sure). The rest of them glared at me, muttering profanities under their breath at me. That did make me smile.
“You pig!” One of them spoke, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at me. “How could you do that to her?”
I laughed softly, not wanting to alert any teachers that had probably heard the commotion. “Ha, I wasn’t the one strangling her! It’s not my fault she has absolutely no self control.” Rolling my eyes I turned back to the open notebook in front of me. The page was blank, since Ms. Kelly had not been given the chance to say anything worth writing down.
Even though everyone talked in whispers, I could still hear most of what they were saying. It went along the lines of:
“Why couldn’t Casey finish the job?”
“Can you believe it spit on her?”
“Who can blame Casey? I would have reacted the same way.”
“Think maybe they’ll take the freak away now?”
“Wonder if Casey will die now from being touched by…her saliva. Eww!”
I remained silent, tracing patterns in the little grains of wood on my desk. I had just been able to find a shape that resembled a puppy when Ms. Kelly strode back into the room. My finger froze, because I could feel her eyes watching me.
“Ms. McHill, could you come with me.” It was more of a demand then a question. Hesitantly, I looked up until my eyes met hers. So many emotions played across her face. Anger, sadness, pity, frustration. I wasn’t sure which one was dominating right now. I hoped pity. As much as I had enjoyed making Casey suffer, I didn’t want to get in trouble. I don’t care, but it was for my parents’ sake that I tried to be good. They had enough to deal with, me being an abnormal child and all.
I simply shook my head yes, and slowly lifted myself out of my chair. My steps were slow and deliberate as I walked over to where she stood. “We need you to go to the principle’s office. I think I can trust you to be able to make it without me escorting you. Is that correct?” She arched an eyebrow, looking down at me with caution. I nodded me head, and held my hand out for the pass she had in her right hand. She placed it on my palm before whispering in my ear, “Goodluck.”
Her hard mask instantly returned as she strode over to her desk, plopping down in her large red swivel chair. I looked around at my classmate’s faces, all set into frowns or smirks. Only one person didn’t glare at me. At the moment I couldn’t remember his name. I think it started with a J…
Curly black hair sprung in every direction, and his brown eyes were filled with kindness as he motioned for me to go. He smiled ever so slightly. Not like the other kids did. No, this was a smile of kindness, of worry. The smile of a friend. Maybe not now, but someday.
I tentatively smiled back, casting one last glance around the room, before setting off for the principles office.
My sneakers squeaked on the tiled floor as I trudged to the principles office. I kept my eyes away from the open doors, not wanting to meet any of the other students’ eyes. It figured; I was the one that was just almost killed and they worry about Casey. How pathetic middle school kids could get. I hated having to group myself with them.
But I would laugh someday, when I found someone that didn’t care about my differences, and they all became hobos, begging for my money. The thought of seeing Casey bundled up on a street corner cheered me.
As I walked, I thought about the kids at my school. They were all the same. Like a school of fish, all identical and swimming in the same direction. Not only was I a different colored fish, I was swimming in the total opposite way, trying to make my way through the hoard. I wasn’t getting very far.
I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t pay attention to where I was walking. I realized a second to late that there was a group of boys hurrying in my direction, but paying no attention to where they were going either. I collided with the boy in the front, my pass slipping from my hands as I fell back. “Oh!” I breathed as I landed on the palms of my hands.
“Hey! Watch it freak!” The tall boy snarled, glaring down at me. I shivered. I wasn’t sure if it was from the air-conditioning vent I was next to, or the guy’s face. As much as I wanted to stand up to him, I wasn’t suicidal. He must have been at least six foot something, and large muscles could be scene under his tight shirt. I knew one wrong word and I’d end up in the school dumpster, courtesy of those boys.
The annoying boys in my grade, I could handle. Highschoolers were a completely different story. That was one of the cons of going to a school that was both middle school and high school; the high school teens had a tendency to ditch and pay us kids a visit. It seemed as though that was what was happening now.
I decided to play it safe and pretend to be weak. “Sorry.” I mumbled, refusing to look at his eyes.
He gave me one last venomous look before striding away, his friends close behind or next to him. My body was frozen for a moment, before I realized I was holding my breath. I let it out in a long gust before turning to search for my pass. I found it against the wall, atop a pile of dust. Sighing I picked it up and continued my walk of shame to the principles office.